|can't make this shit up
||[Apr. 20th, 2009|08:26 pm]
WHY DOES THE WEIRD SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?|
I was fucking around my room when I bumped into my combination mirror/hat rack and my straw cowboy hat fell and hit me in the face. Now I have a splinter IN MY LIP, I can't figure out how to remove it, and my mom is too busy laughing her ass off to help. Augh.
Mom You know, I read once that if you put a bit of glue over a splinter you can peel it right out once it dries.
Me ... you realize where my splinter is, right?
Mom Oh, right. Maybe that's not such a good idea.
Mom There has got to be a joke in here somewhere. Were you blowing Pinocchio? Did he have a woody?
Me .... . .... .. ...... . .
Mom Stop giving me that look. If you weren't in pain, you'd think this was hilarious.