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ersatzheartbeat

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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2009|08:37 am]
ersatzheartbeat
[mood |flirtyflirty]

Guys, I think I'm in love. Seriously. 35 of the top sitcom themes. Every day as I'm shredding RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF PAPER, these are the songs I sing to myself.

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(no subject) [Jan. 14th, 2009|08:01 am]
ersatzheartbeat
Happy 23rd to me! As I sit here eating a hostess cupcake, or more accurately the frosting off the top, I come to realize that hostess cake isn't particularly good. I've also been known to eat the coconut-covered marshmallow topping off of a snowball while leaving behind the dry, crumbly devil's food cake. As such, I'm drafting an open letter to Hostess, Inc.

Dear Hostess,

As a long time consumer, I've come to the realization that your toppings are really great while your actual cake is not. For the perfect cake, please refer to the following recipie:

one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all purpose flower
don't forget garnishes such as:
fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped Ethel benzine
pull n' peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment
candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish

Sincerely,
Shauna Kelly

p.s. the cake is a lie [/portal]
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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2008|12:52 pm]
ersatzheartbeat


This is equal parts funny and AWESOME. Watch it nowz.
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(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2008|03:52 pm]
ersatzheartbeat
I keep bouncing back and forth. Do I want to wait out in the cold at the midnight release of Wrath of the Lich King or not? That is the question.

In other news, just finished watching Fido; a delightful little zombie romp set in the 1940s, where people keep the undead as servants. It's so weird and yet oddly funny. Go watch!

edit;

just a funny little conversation with Renay that cracked me up.

dual peacemakers (3:58:50 PM): i just got a spam email titled "make her grotto wet with pleasure"
aint a cutscene (3:59:36 PM): ... i'll never be able to go through gizamaluke's grotto in ff9 again without thinking dirty thoughts
dual peacemakers (3:59:48 PM): HAHA
dual peacemakers (4:00:03 PM): well, it WAS dark and cavernous in there...
aint a cutscene (4:00:21 PM): and moist ;_; wasn't there a giant snake monster at the end, too?
dual peacemakers (4:00:28 PM): hahahahaha yes

we're such dorks.
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tl;dr office machines are shit [Oct. 14th, 2008|09:33 am]
ersatzheartbeat
I don't have an icon to accurately express my level of RAGE, so I'll just use Stephen Colbert instead. Note to self: get more angry icons.

I swear to my various Gods, I'm about to go Office Space on our fucking printer/scanner/fax machine. I have tried FIVE FUCKING TIMES to scan ONE DOCUMENT out of, oh, let me count here, THIRTY FUCKING DOCUMENTS, and it hasn't worked once. Believe me when I say, I've tried everything. I tried scanning them individually. I've tired putting them in the paper loading tray and letting them go through together. So then I thought, hey, this paper is kind of thick, maybe that's giving it a problem. So I copied the thing and tried running the pages through that way. Still no dice. Oh, it scans alright, but as the HP Director goes to save my work, it freezes up. Eventually I get some weird message saying it was unable to process my request, or that an internal connection was lost. Right there at the end. If you're going to malfunction, PLEASE DO SO AT THE VERY BEGINNING SO I DON'T GET MY HOPES UP.

KJhdkjfhlksa. Now whenever I click the program it's giving me a nice little "Application Unavailable :D" message. Sans the smiley face. But this computer gives me so many problems I somehow think if it could smile, it would be looking back at me with a certain smug satisfaction for it's innate ability to piss me the fuck off. AUGH.
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WHAT THE FUCK? [Sep. 15th, 2008|08:19 am]
ersatzheartbeat
Does anyone else see my default icon as some random man with a beard and glasses? I .... did not upload that.

In my userpics section the crediting is the same, and all my other icons are the same, but the default picture has changed. And nothing else in my journal seems different or tampered with. Is this a glitch, or did someone hack my account?
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bullet form update! [Aug. 18th, 2008|08:12 pm]
ersatzheartbeat
- For a while there, whenever I tried to load livejournal I'd just get a blank page with a random icon on it instead of the LJ main page. The icon wasn't even one of mine! Did anyone else get that?
- My laptop's "ati2dvag" drive isn't working normally anymore. It's all greek to me, but from what I've read the problem is pretty serious business. Fortunately, I'm in a position to buy a new laptop; my mother has a 2000 credit open on her dell credit card and with my job going full time very soon I should be able to pay it off fairly quickly. But I, uh, don't really know a lot about computers. So when I look at them online, I'm all, "A buh"? Like, do any of you know what counts as standard? As good? Particularly for running games like WoW, Sims2, etc etc.
- Went to see Tropic Thunder the other day. Epic movie is fucking epic. I highly suggest you go see! ... Unless you're politically correct or easily offended. Then no. Don't see it.
- I miss fantasy-based rp. Realistic pb games are all well and good, but I'm kind of jonsing for magic and final fantasy people or zombies. I miss playing Seifer, especially. He's such a fun bastard to be.
- Right now I'm on my mom's laptop, which has shit all on it. So I'm kind of bored. What silly, free online games do you play, flist? ENTERTAIN ME.
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2008|12:51 am]
ersatzheartbeat
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is so damn cute. Go watch it. Now! Especially if you like musicals. Super Villains. And Nathan Fillion. And Neil Patrick Harris! And ... and ... and!

Yeah. It's worth the watch.
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2008|02:51 pm]
ersatzheartbeat
I'm not usually one to get all emotional when a celebrity dies. It's sad, of course, but they're people like everyone else. They age, they get sick, and sometimes, tragically, they get into accidents. Today, however, I find myself honestly more than a little upset over the fact that Estelle Getty is dead. In her case, it doesn't even come as a shock. She was 84 and had been suffering from dementia for years. I'm glad she's at peace now, but her loss is like a hit to the gut. Despite the fact that I've seen every episode backwards and forwards at least a dozen times, I still watch Golden Girls every day from 4-5 and then again from 1-2 a.m. Whenever someone dies (Peter Boyle in Everybody Loves Raymond, for example) I always have difficulty going back and watching the shows again. I wonder if my time with the ladies from Miami has finally come to an end?

Regardless -- Thank you for being a friend, Mrs. Getty. You will be missed.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2008|03:20 am]
ersatzheartbeat
Another meme from divergent :D She gave me the letter H.

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post that to your journal with these instructions.



H
1. "Holding Out For A Hero" - Jennifer Saunders
2. "Hammer To Fall" - Queen
3. "Hotel California" - The Eagles
4. "Homecoming" - Vienna Teng
5. "Happy Boys And Girls" - Aqua

... clearly I've listened to very little music from the last couple of years. Enjoy!
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